Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Apparently you make a good broom.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize