Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
