i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
