We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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