For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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