She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
