i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
