I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
