Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
