I only kidnapped one of them. chill
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
