it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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