So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize