Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
