...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
