I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
