somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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