I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
