you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
