tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
