My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
