puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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