Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
