How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
