I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My penis needs a shock collar
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
