Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
