I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
