We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
