He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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