i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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