It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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