How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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