I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize