I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
