Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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