FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
