Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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