I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
