I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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