Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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