I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
