i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
