I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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