How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
