Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
