Non-Jews are for practice
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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