8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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