No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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