so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
