Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
