My cat gives me a boner
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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