last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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