how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
