Got a toothbrush?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
