your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
