You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
