I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
