you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
