Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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