This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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