in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
did i just pee glitter
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
