i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
