you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
