How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
