Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
