In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
