just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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