HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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