singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize