The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
