Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
