i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I've blown a few things in my day
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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