I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
